My Obligatory Post About Men

Ugh. That’s how i’ll start this one.  Guys, I love you and I hate you at different times. My point in this is not to kick every dude in the balls and laugh about it. As a young lady, I feel I need you but also can do without you.  It’s that fancy “feminist/ I still want you to be a gentleman” dance every woman dances every day of their lives (too bad we don’t burn calories off that, amiright?!).  For the first time in my almost real adult life I entered the online dating scene, let me tell you, what a freaking doozy.  Probably the silliest thing ever invented on the face of this earth (sorry not sorry to all those who met online and live a happily ever after life).

While it be ridiculous I learned a couple things about men and not all from the online scene.  Are you ready for this? They are just as confusing as us ladies! They charade themselves around to be logically sound, emotionally together, and masters at communication.  The conclusion I’ve come to is we are lost in translation so often because men don’t know how to effectively translate their feelings (I can just see all the girls loving this and the guys scoffing).  Oops! Did I just use “feelings” and “men” in the same sentence?!

Men are absolutely appalled when we get the wrong impression, which is funny because their actions prove otherwise, and in their defense we do it too girls. The truth in that is we (men and women) do in fact harbor feelings for that person buuuut we want our options to stay open. So we keep each other around and constantly reset ourselves back to “just friends”.  Yea it’s a crappy feeling, I’ve been there (self inflicted,of course, if you’re gonna play the game own up to it). This concept of “just friends” is ruining what a healthy relationship should be.

“Oh, we’re just hanging out man… just talking, yea… I mean no, you can holla at her if you want, brah” …  … can I express how stupid you are for saying that.  Men, quit being little boys about it and freaking date the girl. Ladies, stop being so damn petty.  We painfully wait for someone to cut the heart strings and release us from the in-between agony that has infiltrated our dating scene.

Kicking you in the balls was to bring to light that… WOAH news flash!!?! Yes, we may be wired differently but inherently we are still the same. What it boils down to is we all lie about how we really feel and we communicate horribly with one another.  So carry on Christian Mingle and Farmersonly because unfortunately I don’t think this ever changes.

…. I know you were hoping for a steamy Tinder story weren’t ya!

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