I mostly write these for myself. Actually, I always write these for myself. Because MY heart is what I should be most concerned with. Not so I could be selfish but so I could be selfless. You see, when my heart is troubled I’m nothing but trouble. My tongue like daggers, my thoughts like poison and my actions insulting.
I’ve felt so hurt for so long. Thinking I could love someone again after so much heartache. Naively believing in change… followed by disappointment. Thinking things will get better only to find myself feeling more alone than ever. I used to like being alone. I used to thrive in alone. There’s a peace in that. I did all of it to myself. There’s no one else to blame.
So many people think they can blame everyone else for things that happen to them. For how they decide to act or react. The realization of self is when you start to take responsibility for yourself. You are most humble when you truly see who you are and are able to be honest with others about who you are. We all know who we are. Why we are alone. Why we feed the illusion we’ve built. It’s those who stick by the facade with so much fervor that will fall the hardest.
I’ve felt crazy inside. I mean, duh, that’s the link to this word vomit. But so does everyone else at some point, sometimes more than once. I don’t have a happy ending for you. I don’t even know if I have sound advice for you. I don’t think I can even say that I care anyone reads this. I write to help me… But if you do. If you think I can help you, either by offering you an ally, in that, you’re not alone. Or maybe some advice… you CAN find yourself in the simplest way.
Forgive. Love. Live. Chill out. And always be honest about who you are… Both the ugly and the good parts. Until next time, whenever that may be. I’m not very good at being consistent 😉 I said simple, doesn’t mean it’s easy.