Sometimes I wish it would stop. The constant ache within. The unhealthy yearning felt throughout my whole being. The physical and emotional affects that occur every minute of every day. The never ending thoughts of you that swirl around my head. The daydreaming.
A twisted reality sprinkled with doubt. The fight to trust and to always trust. The retreating into safety. The battle to remain vulnerable. The logic to stay sane. The aftermath of a storm that was us. The mess, pushed under the bed.
The wanting of every emotion felt to freeze in time so you can just breath. I mean cry, no… laugh, no… smile, no… be cool. I mean be open, no that’s too much, now too little. But we’re best friends and he loves me. But does he know who he chose to love? He’d break me, does know he can break me? Is that normal? Can I break him? Is that healthy? Am I crazy? … oh hey brain!! 🙋🏽
Do you get it? Can you feel it? If you do, if you have…
Don’t. Lose. Sight. Of. YOU. Don’t forget your worth. Don’t forget how you deserve to be treated. Don’t focus on the past. Don’t dwell on the future. Don’t sabotage.
It’s a chaos that we dress up in movies with sappy stories and happy endings. It’s romanticized. It’s the “there’ll always be a rainbow after the storm” bullshit. It’s that thing we all call love.