I wrote that as a kind of funny relatable status on Facebook, but later during the evening it was incredibly true. The kids had been kind of whining all day, my daughter being rebellious, and then the cherry on the sundae- the little condiment shelve in the fridge completely came off, sending all the condiments on the floor. And I just cried. My poor husband just quietly said, “one of those days?” and cleaned up the mess while I sobbed.
As moms we hear, “The days are long, but the years are short.” ALL. THE. TIME. And it’s true, our babies are only babies and toddlers for so long. I try to remember that saying when the days are rough but man, these days are INCREDIBLY long. Begging for the toddler to just please listen the first time and get off the counter, trying to console two screaming 11 month old babies, all while trying to keep my self from screaming SOS, and praying my husband comes home from work early. And if I’m being honest, I’ll ask myself- is being a stay at home mom worth it? Is it worth it to me to lose any sense of independence? Worth it to lose myself while trying to balance my title as a mom and an individual? My sanity?
But then, oooh but then. These little perfect human beings do something so sweet. My 3 year old embraces me and says I’m her best friend and wants to paint my nails. The twins smile and laugh just from seeing my face. One boy so proud of himself for knowing how to clap, the other boy running in circles and laughing. My heart always instantly melts and while I don’t forget the fits and dirty diapers, the defeat-
I remember that on some days, I win. I conquer the crying. I conquer the fatigue/exhaustion. I know that everyday isn’t a bad day. I know that I WIN. I think as moms it’s easier for us to remember the hard days or bad times and I’m not sure why that is. Doesn’t mean I am not grateful for the health and wellness of my kids and husband. I thank God for the life and unconditional love I’ve got. Reminds me to give my kids grace and learn patience with them because most days consist of reading all of the books, painting, running, and dancing to silly songs.
And so, somedays motherhood does defeat me- but somedays I defeat motherhood and yes, it’s always SO worth it. Sounds like another Mom article and totally cliché and I don’t even care.
– Julie Thomas